May 1, 2009
Dear faithful reader, sorry to take so long to take so long to get back to you. I’ve been very busy. Very busy.
Yesterday’s blog update left our team of holy science warriors in a restless mood. Corwin, George and I were naturally were unable to sleep. Thanks to us, Jamie was unable to either. For about five hours of dorm conversation, your very own Science Bowl competitors have discovered the meaning of life. The meaning of life is beside the point of this blog, but if you are still curious about it, ask me during U.S. Government and Econ class.
A few hours after this conversation ended, we had to wake up for breakfast. Elise was granted the rare opportunity to see me scant naked because I did not know she was in the room when I peeled away my covers. The other science bowl teams were not here because we were here fashionably early.
We had a free day so we would spend it like any other teenage boy would with a free day. We went to a science museum. Ms. Carlock made the mistake of leaving us unsupervised and our rebel spirit led us to spend an extra hour past our curfew learning intense science. We are so badass.
Somehow we managed to take public transportation to get to the Smithsonian Aerospace museum. Thanks to this random-ass really cool old person who lived in D.C. I now know where the embassy of Chad is. Step four of my plan is complete.
The museum was amazing but it would not be humorous enough for this blog. There are only two things worth mentioning. First of all, George is no longer the most likely the to get lost. We thought Corwin was dead for 15 minutes. Luckily he wasn’t, and now he is typing up this blog (I was buying freeze dried ice cream.)
The other amusing thing was the rather sad story of Michael Collins. He was left stuck inside Apollo 11 as Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin were chilling out on the moon. At least he had stunners, which he donated to the museum. While he was missing out the event of a lifetime, he was doing it at the pinnacle of fashion. I wonder how he feels about that.
After the museum, we were a few miles away from the 4H center and we were planning to take the bus. The next bus was in four minutes. Being the impatient time ones we were, and not wanting to pay the combined $6.75 to get back, we ran back. We also had 11 minutes before the deadline to register to compete in the competition. Somehow we got back in time. I guess we just ganstaz like that.
After this, we did other stuff that I forgot. And then we went on a night tour. Apparently the team got into a brawl, but I didn’t participate. Jamie gesticulated wildly, whacking George in the head several times. This was our first opportunity to meet other teams. We were unimpressed. The competition was scarce (Benji is being an egotistical narcissist).
Other than our social lepidoptery, the monuments were pretty cool too. I never knew that Abraham Lincoln was that big. Hard to believe he died from a single bullet, considering he’s made out of pure quartzite.
The sky was pink with photochemical smog. Oh yeah, we know what that means. We smartz likes that. In addition to all of this, we took a picture with the melted chocolate statue of Einstein, and I took a picture with a girl who plays Fall Out 3.
We decided FDR is America’s least favorite favorite president, because his statue was only moderately enormous, and his monument was not made out of pretty white rocks, or as we like to call it, Subclavian gypsumnium 117 (we actually have no idea what kind of rock it is). We took a core sample to check, but our core samples didn’t give us any usable data.
Until next time, just remember this: It is both sweet and becoming to die for one’s country.
Today’s dress code was disgustingly green over-the-top science clothes. Me and my druids were at the height of fashion.
- Benji Kessler
